I got sucked into a headline the other day. It read “‘I am a rapist.’ Dominique Pelicot admits to drugging his wife so dozens of men can rape her.” I am deeply opposed to sensational headlines and often scroll past them as fast as I can …but I’ll admit, this one caught me. Dominique Pelicot is a citizen of France, where casual sex is so common and accepted that their laws don’t even require it to be consensual. But all of even France seems to be shaken by this case. What in the world?
My great dismay at the contents of this news story (and I won’t leave you hanging…I’ll tell you about Dominique Pelicot in just a minute) led me into a bit of research about the whole “PDiddy parties” situation, a topic that I was happy to say I was clueless about before this particular day. If you haven’t seen P Diddy in the news lately, you are blessed indeed, but he’s currently in jail on, among other things, charges of sex trafficking. PDiddy is a celebrity in Hollywood where sex is so prevalent that people do it in front of cameras. But all of even Hollywood seems to be shaken by this case. What in the world?
Dominque and PDiddy. Two men as different as black and white…literally. Dominique offering his drugged wife’s body up to men (it’s suggested that there could be over one hundred of them) and watching them abuse her. PDiddy throwing parties with inner sanctums for sexual deviations so jaw dropping that I had to abandon most of the mainstream news reports. Sexual addiction so deep that it’s numbed its victims into pursuit at all costs.
So let’s talk about sex for a minute. We might as well, everyone else is.
When God created man, He exclaimed that he was the best of creation. Not just good. Very good. But it wasn’t good for this man to be alone. Man, on his own, can never reveal the heart of God. The world needed woman to get a full picture of the Creator.
A man and a woman becoming one is a powerful force because each carries a side of God’s nature that the other cannot. When there is unity between a man and a woman, we see God’s love from a perspective that we can’t see any other way. Two very different creations coming together as one…fitting into each other like puzzle pieces. It’s a beautiful plan. And this plan is the only thing on earth that can create human life. It’s the design. It’s biology. Human life on earth doesn’t continue without male sperm AND female egg united into an embryo (children are scientific evidence that testifies to the Creator’s design).
And the devil hates this. All of it. He hates the power that the unity of marriage creates. He hates the picture of God’s glory that marriage provides. He hates the new life that reminds him that God creates while he can only destroy. That his time is limited because destroying with evil is never more powerful than creating good. He hates it.
And what better way to come after it, but to taint the sacred gift of sex.
Because not only did God create sex to be useful for reproduction, science is showing that it is the very catalyst for the strongest of physical bonds. The flood of chemicals and hormones released into the body during consensual sex is unmatched by any other experience on earth. Not just pleasure hormones. Bonding hormones. The same kind of hormones released between mother and baby during nursing, but at levels unequaled by any other occurrence in our human lives.
God protects sex inside of marriage because it’s literally a mind-blowing experience. It alters our brain chemistry, physically bonding us to someone else whether we want it to or not. Unless you’ve had so much sex that you’ve untethered yourself from the human race like Dominique and PDiddy, I bet you can remember vividly every person you’ve had a sexual encounter with.
This is why I Thess 4:3 says that we should abstain from sexual immorality (any sexual stimulation outside of marriage) and why I Cor 6:18 says that sexual immorality is a sin against our own bodies. Because when powerful chemical/hormone cocktails are released into our bodies and brain without the goal of bonding and the protection of life-long commitment, they form neuropathways in the brain that exclude the bonding element of sex and overemphasize the pleasure element.
And a priority of pleasure is predatory.
When we pursue pleasure over people, we end up doing things to people that we never believed we could be capable of. We become addicts. Living for that next hormone cocktail. Willing to pay more and more and more for it.
This is why sexual immorality isn’t limited to the technical act of sex. Whenever high levels of sex hormones are involved outside of a loving, bonded, committed marriage, we are pursuing pleasure for pleasures sake. Porn, erotica, movies, shows, books, make out sessions…you fill in the blank.
Now I’m not saying we have to guard against ever feeling attraction or unintended reactions of our body that we have no control over. God created us as sexual beings because His design for sex is good. There is no shame in this gift of His until we misuse it for selfish purposes. It is designed to be powerful and even irresistible when it is shared between spouses. Which is why Song of Solomon 8:4 warns us not to awaken this gift in us before we have married. Because once we have tasted it, we will want more.
Satan’s kingdom knows that out of all the human pleasure experiences on earth, sex is the most powerful and the most pleasurable. That’s why sex, in particular, is his playground. It’s easy to get people invested, and it’s quick to destroy them (and others around them) when they do invest.
I don’t know. You tell me. Does it seem fair to say that a man who drugs his wife for the purpose of charging men to come have their way with her while he watches and videos the encounters from another room, that this man might be demon possessed? What about a man who plans celebrations and requires everyone to dress in white but unspeakable dark acts are encouraged in three levels of inner sanctum with children as young as nine? A man whose mansion is home to thousands of bottles of baby oil and well known “freak off” sessions?
I’d venture to say that the devil plays in the sexual space…or rather, he doesn’t. He does some of his best work in luring people into his pleasure fueled disasters.
Y’all, demons are currently working overtime to destroy humans with this gift that God created to be beautiful and good and special. And I believe the Creator wants to rescue you if you’ve been captured by it. I believe He wants to restore the sacredness of sex in your life so that it is blessing to you and not a curse. This is His design, and it is very good.
But the enemy of your soul has a plan much like the ones visibly before us in situations like that of Dominique Pelicot and PDiddy. That’s where he likes to take people who buy into his plan for sex.
So if you are currently caught in any kind of sexual immorality…on your phone; on a computer; in a book, a show or a movie; in a relationship; or outside of one…I want you to know that it’s not “no big deal, everyone is doing it”. It’s not “that could never happen to me; I’ve got this under control”.
It is “I am slowly destroying myself by misusing a powerful resource”. You are flirting with demons and expecting they won’t stalk you. They will.
But there is hope.
It starts with bringing it into the light. Demons flee from the light. Find someone safe to confess your struggle. Someone who can be trusted to walk you through breaking these habits.
It ends with fleeing sexual immorality (I Cor 6:18). Run from it. Be willing to do whatever it takes to avoid it. And it might take ending a relationship. Switching phones or getting specialized software that keeps you from searching certain things (although these days you can find soft porn everywhere). Giving up certain genres of books, shows, or movies. Having a friend on speed dial for those moments of temptation. Going to therapy. Print out this article…write down the Scriptures…remind yourself of the stakes.
I want to leave you with light and hope, so let me tell you what God does with everything the enemy meant for evil.
Dominique’s wife has become an activist for a change in France’s laws about sexual abuse and a figure for a movement against casual sex. Eyes are being opened to the consequences of abusing the amazing gift of sex, and the French are talking about how to prevent this kind of debased behavior in the future.
P Diddy, a longtime abuser and purveyor of sexual abuse, is in prison. His secrets are slowly coming out, and some of his friends will be held accountable too. Hollywood is once again talking about how the culture they’ve created can spiral into such shocking lasciviousness.
Light still wins where demons play. Get back on the right side of that line.
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