Do you ever stop and think about how many people it takes to keep you living the life that you live right now? Here in America, we like to think we are individuals...that we can do life for ourselves, by ourselves. And really, we are so foolish to believe that. Indulge this list for a moment.
It took two people to even give you life. The male sperm and the female egg that merged and created you came from those people.
A person or people likely contributed to your birth into this world.
People educated you as you grew up...one or many...but you aren't likely able to read this because you learned by yourself.
People grow, make, and prepare the food we eat. If you've ever used a recipe that someone else shared, you've used people as a resource. Grocery stores and farmers markets are run by people.
People likely built the dwelling that you live in, the car that you drive, and the buildings that you often frequent in daily life.
People run the businesses that sell you things, create the processes that you opt into along the way, make up the organizations that you are apart of.
Today a person will deliver my mail, repair complicated appliances or electronics (all invented and created by people) that break, update me on the latest news around the globe, and be the reason for basically everything I touch and use throughout my day.
We can't make it on our own. Not for any long term healthy lifestyle. It's not good for us to be alone. People are a resource.
And people, every person, is also uniquely complicated. There was only one perfect version that ever walked the earth, and He was sent for the specific mission of dying for the sins of the world. The rest of us are hopelessly flawed and endlessly limited. We fall short every single day, and to say this disqualifies people from being a resource in our lives is to also disqualify ourselves.
Oh, and to insult God who created us in His own image.
I'll just be super vulnerable for a minute. I've come to understand myself as a pretty serious introvert. We can argue later about whether that's an acceptable label, but here's why I use it to label myself. I am a deep thinker. I am a recovering perfectionist. I am an idealist. I am also highly sensitive. I can "feel" your mood. I can notice quickly if something is "off" in a conversation or encounter. I am not always right about these things, but I would say I average 80% accuracy. I also have the gift of being highly empathetic...so if you feel it, I do too. Maybe not at the same intensity, but I feel with you all the same. All of this means that my energy is drained quickly around people. I refuel by being alone. By being in the quiet. By processing through each encounter I have with a human (which is also why sending me into a crowd is somewhat similar to locking yourself in a room where heavy metal music is blaring).
I told you all of that because this makes it easy for me to struggle with embracing the resource of people in my life. It makes me struggle with being a person in my life...lol. I want perfection...the ideal...and I notice every single time myself or people around me disappoint that. It's exhausting. And I'm working on it. Because the only thing that has come of this is that I see how completely flawed I am, but I also see how much I still want to be loved and accepted despite all of those flaws.
The shift of viewing people as a crucial resource to my wholeness, to my purpose, to my connection with God even, has pushed me to do the uncomfortable work of building relationship. It's made me connect when I wanted to disconnect...to keep trying when I wanted to give up...to give up when I wanted to keep trying (because boundaries are a huge part of healthy relationships, it turns out).
I cannot do this life on my own. And neither can you.
Whether you are a "more people, the better" sort of person or a "quality over quantity" sort of person, the bottom line is that you need people in your life. And you are never too old (or too young) to learn how to build and grow the healthiest relationships with those around you.
I plan on writing more about this in the coming weeks...about boundaries...about connection...and even about touch (because its so important to the regulation of our nervous systems), but for now I just want you to see the people around you. No, really see them. Take note of all of the ways that other people are contributing to your life right now. Notice how this changes your attitudes and thoughts...just seeing people.
And people are a whole module of lessons in my online course "Resource Your Health, Change Your Life". Sometimes a shift in the way we view something or the priority we lend it, changes everything. I hope you will subscribe to the course and see for yourself how much growth can come from simply seeing things from a new perspective.
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